We are shocked! Shocked, I say!
Only a few things in life are constant and reliable (namely death, taxes, and endless saga of Brexit). Everything else is in a state of flux or entropy. Degrading and reforming and morphing into unrecognisable forms, leaving us anxiously adrift without an existential foundation to call our own.
Vendor Central is no exception.
As mighty as Amazon’s current power may be, the tides of change wash over them just easily as they dampened King Canute’s ankle socks. Last week saw the latest iteration of VC drag itself free of its chrysalid and cast its predecessor into the Chasm of Forgotten Retail Tools.
GONE are the generous, responsive full-page-width modules that stretched your images to the point where you could see each individual fibre of electronic papyrus they were printed on.
REPLACED by a more logical 1:1 rendering of each slot, allowing you to get a sense of how each module will display without having to follow several steps to the final preview. Practical, yet evoking a sense of melancholic ennui by driving home just how small and cramped the content you spent hours refining is presented.
GONE are the nights where you jolt awake in sweat-stained sheets, crying out with the terrible realisation that your A+ is insufficiently branded.
REPLACED by the calm sensation and lowered blood pressure that comes with having a brand banner at the top of your A+. Or in the middle. Or 2/3rd of the way down, because you’re quirky like that.
(ALSO: Amazon heard you like banners, so they put more banner in your banner. 970 x 600 px to be precise.)
GONE is the ridiculous notion that you should only see the modules that are available to work with!
REPLACED by a cornucopia of greyed-out premium modules and softlines options. As if a shop assistant in a posh clothing store has appraised your current sense of style and raised a single eyebrow to declare these outfits are “not for the likes of you”. As if Jeff Bezos was the host for the reincarnated soul of Jim Bowen, offering a reassuring arm across your shoulders as he implores you to “Look what you could’ve won” while an anthropomorphised bull prances next to a carousel of marketing packages.
GONE is the absence of broken UI elements, nonsensically declaring “This module has reached maximum usage in this template”.
REPLACED by broken UI elements, nonsensically declaring “This module has reached maximum usage in this template”.
Like all VC changes, this too shall pass. Given the… more eccentric elements of this release, there is every likelihood that this version was a delicate butterfly, released from the cocoon too early, doomed to wither in the harsh conditions of the run-in to peak trading. But rest assured, you can always rely on EtailDetail* to keep you abreast of all the changes and developments Amazon can throw at you.
*Unless we decide to drop the whole “retail” thing, and pivot into becoming a cricketing blog. Roughly 37% probability at this stage.